Agent Smith and God

I’m agnostic. But I do think about God sometimes. Theories and stupid stuff, which is supposedly why I was so good for Christian club last year. And no, I wasn’t Christian then, either.

Introduction to my damning-myself-ing entry aside, my thoughts on prayers. Condensed.

About free will and miracles. It’s a bit hard for God to do miracles of any kind with that problem we call free will, right? How does S/He do it? I mean, when you say to yourself “Give me a sign, God, a sign that I get that job,” making one hell of (pun may be intended) prayer, knowing you did shizz in that interview. Does a zombie-fied employer leave you a call saying, “So-and-so, you weren’t quite the best person for the job, but I’m hiring you,” as long as “it’s in His plan?”

Which brings me to the title of this post.

If a prayer in answered in a way that completely needs a human choice in the matter, how does it happen? Have you ever thought that God might have just Agent Smith-ed into your life just to answer that prayer. That half the people (or all) is just God in disguise?

It’s like being on The Truman Show. Truman being you. Everything is planned for you. Everything ceases to exist just for you. Pain and lives of others are simulations or God.

Maybe most people aren’t God. But God lived a whole life as that employer and just used the life to hire you.

Probably not.

Another point. What could be considered an answered prayer? A coincidence? Lottery. Some people do say that there “are no such things as coincidences, as they are all miracles from Him.” That’s bullshit to me. Lottery cannot be an answered prayer. In most cases, with so many players, someone wins it. And they probably didn’t pray for it.

And a prayer answered for you could be something devastating to someone else. Pretend you were dying of a need for new kidneys. Or something. You pray. Your friends and family pray. Your church prays. And at the last moment, there’s a kidney donor. Some poor sap died in a car accident, and he indicated that he’s like to donate his organs. He’s a perfect match. Everyone rejoices.

You live on, not seeing his fiancé’s complete depression. You meet the family, and you feel sympathy, but you’re alive. And you probably won’t think too much about it later on while rock climbing, no matter how sad the situation is at the time.

Or you’re a homeless bum on the street. Pleading for a dollar, some quarters, anything. And a man tosses your a ten dollar bill. You are happy.

Thank you, God, you say. But you didn’t see that the man had a terrible day. That’s why he gave you that bill. Because he knew that at least there was someone in a worse position than him. Good grief. God really hurt a man just so you could buy a few burgers? Really?

And my last point. It’s in His plan. Which I mentioned earlier. This is the stupidest thing religious zealots say. Because as Mr. Deity pointed out before, it’s a complete win-win thing for God. If, after a prayer, something bad happens, it’s His plan. And no one blames God. (This is about 1980’s suburban protestant white families that I’m modeling off it.) Something good happens, it’s a prayer answered. We love God more.

Too win-win. It’s just something that makes sure there’s no doubt. But the perfection gives me doubt.

I’m just too skeptical. But… Pascal’s wager is a pretty good one…

(I swear, I just posted this mainly because I wanted to use Agent Smith as a verb. Really.)